The sign that nearly led to a Swinglish divorce.

We can all agree that throwing glass into the glass recycling bin can make a lot of noise, right? (As well as, perhaps more importantly, and embarrassingly so, it can let one’s neighbors in on one’s drinking habits, unless one sticks to the kind of alcohol found in cans.)

After making that agreement, most would also agree that this sign is reasonable. No throwing of glass bottles into the container after 10 o’clock at night. A similar sign might also forbid doing so bInterdictionefore 7 or 8 o’clock in the morning. What a good way to keep the peace during the typical person’s sleeping hours.

Then there’s this gem, not uncommon here — well, in fact, rather common here in la Suisse. No throwing away of glass bottles between 8 o’clock at night and 7 o’clock in the morning … nor on Sundays or public holiInterdiction - dimanchesdays. Now this is the part of this post where you, dear reader, may be beholden to tell yours truly to “go back where she came from,” as the Swinglisher’s dear Swiss husband – very, very Swiss husband – almost certainly was thinking the first time the Swinglisher noted and sneered at this type of sign. Like, you can’t take out your recycling on Sunday? On Easter? On the Fourth of July? (Or rather, the Swiss equivalent thereof – the First of August, for those who may be wondering.) “Mais bien sûr que non,” the Swinglisher’s dear Swiss husband – very, very Swiss husband – sneered in return.

Bref: Sunday and public holidays are days of peace and tranquility, not be disturbed by the noise of a citizen – or, more likely, un sale étranger – daring to clear his or her house of unwanted items on these holy days and doing the right thing, environmentally speaking at least, by recycling them.

In the end, Mr. Swinglisher and yours truly decided to agree to disagree, which is a nice way of saying the subject was dropped because neither person could believe he or she had actually married a person who thought this rule was okay/not okay. The topic has not been brought up again. That’s why Mr. and Mrs. Swinglisher are still here, still married, currently in the year post-wedding that can be described as the itchy one. As long as the subject of glass recycling on Sundays and public holidays doesn’t come up again, the Swinglishers will probably survive this year without scratching. If it does come up, however … all bets are off.

The Swiss: out-Black Friday-ing the cross-Atlantic originators of Black Friday.

Black Friday means Black Friday, right? Friday, the day after Thursday; Black Friday, the Friday after the Thursday of Thanksgiving?

Sure, in the US (with recent exceptions made by certain stores to allow Thanksgiving Day late-afternoon shopping – what better way to recover from turkey and stuffing overload, not to mention escape from one’s pesky relatives, than by heading to the mall to try one’s hand at shoving enough people out of one’s way to pick up a (probably unneeded) big-screen TV at a bargain price?).

But not here in la Suisse. Here, Black Friday had already begun at one shop on Tuesday, when the Swinglisher snapped the pic on the left, and was set to begin at another the day after, running for three days – “3 special Black Fridays” – until the afore-mentioned original Black Friday itself. But let’s call those two preceding days neither Wednesday and Thursday nor mercredi et jeudi; rather Black Friday the First and Black Friday the Second, capped off by Black Friday the Third, the erstwhile original.

Black Friday

No matter. This place is well-known as un îlot de cherté, which can be translated as “an island of really fucking expensive things among the European Union sea of cheaper, albeit not good-old-American-cheap, goods.” So here, three days of discount shopping is really three days during which you can look at things you still can’t afford. This leads to the Swinglisher’s final verdict on the situation: while Switzerland wins on days of opportunities to shop, the US wins on the providing the possibility that one can actually afford to purchase something.

Thus concludes this post, although the Swinglisher would be remiss in hitting the “publish button” before sending wishes to all devoted readers for a very merry Thanksgiving – or, translated literally and thus ridiculously by yours truly, un joyeux merci-donner.

The Swinglisher: de retour after a two-month break from Swinglishing.

A two-month break which was, more importantly than the duration, a weapon-free break.

no weapons allowed.jpg

Clearly, this isn’t a Swinglish sign. But surely nobody could guess that it’s an Americanglish sign, could they?

Jetlag duly recovered from, The Swinglisher is de nouveau on the lookout for some proper Swinglish. Check back here soon!